we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize