bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
