So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
