i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
