you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize