My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
