I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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