the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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