Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
