you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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