btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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