Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
