so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
