Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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