the condom got lost in my hair
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
