I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
