its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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