It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
