Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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