would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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