You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
