dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
