He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
