after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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