Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
