So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
