some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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