after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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