I want to make a zoo with you.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize