I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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