just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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