You're my little dorito
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
is that a dick in a sweater?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
