you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
