I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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