my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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