When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize