I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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