drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
