My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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