Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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