If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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