One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
