those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
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Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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