she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When are your genitals available?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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