just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize