Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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