I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
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She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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