we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize