Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize