dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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