This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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