i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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