I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
