I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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