at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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