Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it because I queefed?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Text me some of your sweat
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