Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
