I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
