he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
