is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
