What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
