batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize