he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
