watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
