I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So here I am, sexting at work.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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