R you on birth control?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success