wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.