All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
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The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
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I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night