i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.