You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...