she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
