I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
