I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
